I'm home!

That's right I'm home from the hospital. It has been a fast, yet relaxing weekend. I never knew that was possible, but I guess it is.

We dropped the kids off early Thursday morning and made the dreaded drive to the hospital. The nurse took me in the back and had me changed into the beautiful hospital gown. She then effortlessly inserted the IV on THE FIRST TRY! I was so excited. I got to visit with my hubby for a few minutes before they wheeled me to the surgery waiting room.

Many people (nurses, doctors, etc.) came to meet me. I'll never remember any of there names. The only one that I remember is the main surgeon that I met with a few weeks ago. I was given a "calming" drug, then wheeled into the back. I remember getting on the table. The next thing I knew was that I was waking up in the recovery room. The nightmare that many have about waking up on the operating table was not mine to have.

Might I also add that I wasn't nervous going in. Looking back I could tell that many people were praying for me. Thank you to those who did. I felt a sense of peace that you only get from being shrouded in prayer.

The nurse that I had in recovery was the kind of nurse that I wish there were more of. He was understanding and compassionate. Actually, all the nurses that I met in recovery had this same attitude. It was very refreshing.

Approximately 6 hours later (yes, 6), I was taken to my room. My roommate was interesting. The day staff were awesome. The night staff left a lot lacking. I'm not going to go into detail on here. I'll contact the hospital directly. I was kept on clear fluids all day.

Friday morning I was allowed to eat solid food, so I ordered up a meal. I could have done without the pancakes, but the food has improved a lot. One point I should make is that all day Wednesday I was drinking water and had my "last meal" at about 5 PM. So I had gone approximately 32 hours "without" food. Of course, I had my IV, but my stomach did not think that was food. :) The meal was enjoyed that morning.

Then Matt came to get me and we went home. I've been trying to take it easy. It seems like Friday and Saturday that I slept almost all day. I was able to go to the morning and evening services at church on Sunday. It was so nice not to be bed-bound. It gave me a new compassion for my clients who are bed-bound.

Matt goes back to work tomorrow and my dad will be here. He'll help with the first week of school. I still can't believe how fast the summer went.

I guess I'd better close. There are 2 special orders to get finished and posted. Have a great day everyone!

Have you ever . . .

Have you ever felt so loved you wanted to cry? That is the thought that has hit so close to home in the recent days.

When I was first diagnosed, my Dad and Mom made phone calls to family members without computer access. My grandfather, Mom's Dad, told her to pass on a message to me. "Don't fear it. Fight it." He said this in reference to the cancer. He was also diagnosed with cancer although a different kind. That saying keeps rolling around in my head.

There are many Bible verses about fear that go along with that statement. One of them is: Psalms 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Today along with cleaning and organizing, I'm drinking my weight in water. After midnight, I must fast until after the surgery. When I mentioned to the nurse about the hour and 5 people it took to try to get an IV in, she told me to drink water until I could float away. So that is what I'm doing. :)

On another note, I realized I have not updated the information about my trip to a healthy life. I'm holding steady at 213 lbs. and I've lost 9.5". This has been 5 months of hardwork, but I know it can be done.

Still So Much To Do

It seems that housework is never-ending especially when you are trying to prepare ahead of time. I had to take my wedding ring off. No jewelry allowed in surgery. My middle son has now misplaced it and he doesn't remember where. That is more incentive for me to get busy cleaning.

I pulled out the paper the nurse gave me. On it are a list of numbers and when to call each. So I went to call for my time to report and where, but it was not time yet. I have to call between 2 and 4 PM. That is a pretty small window. Especially when my oldest 2 have swim lessons at 3 and 3:30PM. I leave the house at 2:30PM. There will be approximately 30 min. for me to make a call and get 3 children ready to go. I truly hope and pray that they answer on the first call as I don't know how many I will be able to make in that 30 min.

One positive that I can get from this is that I will be getting a lot of time to sit. Many hats will be accomplished/finished. We'll see how crazy they look while I'm taking pain medicine. :) I don't take a lot of medicine, so this should be easy. I don't want my body to become immune to medications, so that when I do need them, they work.

A small project I'm working on for my store is a Clifford hat. In my etsy store is a knit/crochet dog ear hat. A lady contacted me about making it in red for her unborn son. I'm having so much fun. Then I also need to make a monkey hat to fill another order.

Just my personal opinion, knitting seems so much smoother than crochet. Crochet can get chunky at times. Knitting also has more give, so it stretches further. My crochet is right where the "sample" measurements say it should be.

Anyway, enough for now. I need to get more things organized/cleaned. Have a great day!

Two Days Left

I have 2 days before my surgery. Tomorrow I call and find out what time to report to the hospital. The nurse said they were trying to get the first surgery slot for me. I'm praying that they can. I won't be able to eat or drink until it is done. Not sure how I'll handle a day without coffee.

I'm working on getting the house in order and straightened for Matt and the boys. It seems that cleaning is a never-ending job. I get dishes done and move to cleaning another room. By the time I'm done with that room, my sink is full of dishes that were scattered around. The funny thing is we eat at the table, so I'm not sure what is going on there.

My dad will be here the week after the surgery. This will be great because I have to get re-checked by the surgeon and my oldest starts back to school. My dad has a better camera than I do, so I'm hoping for some great pictures.

I'm so thankful that I'm saved and on my way to heaven. I don't know how people who don't have the hope of heaven face surgeries. There are still the verse cards to finish and packing for my overnight stay.

Time to get busy. Have a wonderful and blessed day!

New Update

Well, so much has happened since I last wrote. My oldest had "summer" vacation. I use the term summer very loosely, because for the first 2 months it rained non-stop.

About 2 months ago, I went to my doctor for an issue. When I left, I walked out knowing that I had a lump on my thyroid. I knew there was a problem, but couldn't put my finger on it. The doctor visit was not to check my thyroid. It was another issue that could be linked to the thyroid.

Anyway, less than 2 weeks later, I went to an endocrinologist. She confirmed that there is a lump (over 1 cm). A biopsy was scheduled. I also had some bloodwork done to see if it was autobody. That test came back negative. So the biopsy date came. Let me tell you, that was worse than labor and I delivered my first 2 children without pain meds. I would know the results of the biopsy in a week.

I wasn't too concerned about it. After all, thyroid lumps run in my mom's family. All of theirs came back benign. I figured mine would too.

Then the call came. I have thyroid cancer. Everything went foggy. I caught snatches of what the doctor was telling. Words like surgery, total thyroidectomy, medicine, the rest of my life. The endocrinologist did finish with "This is the best kind of cancer to have, because it is cureable." My personal preference would be the non-existent kind.

I called clients and told them that I would not be accepting any new projects for a while. I also called close family and told them the news. Then I sent out an email letting others know. I just could not get through another phone call. When I finally got a hold of my husband, he was floored. His supervisor sent him home early.

For the next 2 days, my inbox was full of emails letting me know that people were praying for me. My answering machine also got many messages of love. People were coming out of the woodwork letting me know how much they cared. It has been overwhelming. One lady from an online group sent me a list of Bible verses. I have been writing them on 3x5 cards and putting them in a flip book. I'm taking this to the hospital with me.

Right now, I'm hoping and praying for the best, but planning for the worst. I love that God has given us HOPE.

I'm trying to stay positive as that is what people need me to be right now. I have many people looking at me with looks of apology like they wished this on me. I feel like people are watching and waiting for me to breakdown. Everytime I leave the house, the brave face goes on. One of the most common questions that gets asked is, "How are you doing?" In my mind I'm screaming, "I have cancer what do you expect.", but my answer is always, "I'm doing great. Just keeping positive." There are a few that I feel are following me. Waiting for me to start bawling, so that they can be there to be the shoulder to cry on.

I'll write more later. I need to get my children out of the house. It feels as if it is closing in on me. The surgery is looming closer. This Thursday to be exact. Maybe if I keep busy enough it will go away.

What a Weekend!

This has been one long weekend. First, my oldest didn't have school Thursday and Friday because of kindergarten testing. The teachers were testing the incoming children. So he had a 4 day weekend.

My hubby only worked a half day on Friday because it was considered a holiday. It worked out though because we ran some errands when he got home. We stopped in Freeport and checked out the Children's Place. I found a couple cute dresses for our niece's birthday. They were marked down and on sale.

On Saturday, I met up with some ladies from the playgroup and we made chocolates for our children's Easter baskets. There was a lot of chocolate made and fingers being licked. We had so much fun. That evening we had the 5th birthday party for our niece.

On a sadder note, my Great-Grandmother passed away. She was either 94 or 99. We have to find out her birthyear. There seem to be some discrepencies on that note. We found out from the ER that she passed away from neglect. She was in a nursing home. She had a couple major sores that spiked her fever. She slipped in a coma. I worked in many nursing homes here in Maine. I took a CNA course and worked hard to care for my residents and clients. My certificate could not be transferred to California because they require so many more hours and are "stricter". She would have most likely lived until we got there at Christmas. My oldest is the only great-grandchild she ever met. At Christmas she would have spent time with 5 great-grandchildren. I just remember when she met my son. All she wanted to do was stare at him and hold him. We have a picture with 5 generations. She had a look of pure joy on her face. Just so you know, I'm crying as I type this.

My grandfather, her son, went in to see her Saturday morning. He spoke to her and told her to stop fighting and let go. She was a fighter. He went to visit his wife and made a quick stop. There was a butterfly that flew into his open window. It was red with yellow markings. The butterfly rode in the back of his car for part of the way. When he stopped at his next stop, the butterfly flew up and landed on his finger. It flapped its wings a couple times, then flew out the window. That was at 2:35 PM. A few minutes later he got a call from the hospital that his mother had passed. The time she passed was 2:35 PM.

Sunday was Easter. The day we celebrate our Lord raising from the dead. I'm so glad He did.

This morning was also eventful. I was awakened at 4 AM to the smoke alarms going off. We are all ok. We know that the smoke alarms work. It all had to do with the fireplace glass breaking. I went in and ordered a new one. It is a good thing it is warming up here. So no fires until it comes in.

I'd better go. Lots to do.

Today

Well today promises to be busy day. I'm meeting the mom's group today to make candy for Easter. The group has been up and running for about a month. I've had 1-2 ladies and their children show up. I was starting to get down about the number. Well for this scheduled event there are 10 ladies coming. We did have to get people to RSVP cause we had to plan for snacks.
Then afterwards, I will be going to the gym to work off the little "nibbles" that I take. Of course, they will only be nibbles. This evening we have a birthday party for my niece. At some point today, I need to work in alterations and creating.

I'm working on a cute teddy bear blanket. I'll post a picture when the parts are done.

Yesterday, we went to my parent's house and started doing some outside, "prepping" for planting. I undercovered the stepping stones from the grass growing over them. I had the boys help me look for "surprises" aka worms. They thought that was great. It was nice to get out and moving.

Since I've started working out, I've had a lot more energy. The boys and I do so much more together. I had a hard time after this last baby with the post-partum depression. My children didn't need to see me like that and I didn't enjoy it either. I guess that is what scares me most about if we have another. Post-Partum. Drugs would have been a last resort. I had no desire to be dependant on medication. Just getting out and playing in the snow (when we had it) or walking helped improve my spirits so much. My midwife encouraged me to join a PPD support group. The number was sitting in my pocket for weeks. It was nice to know that I had it, but I never used it. I probably should have.

Well, I've had my 2 cups of coffee. I'll probably splurge and get a 3rd. Dishes are calling.